Auntie's Hideaway

Every once in a while, I run a Google search on my username, and on my real name, the Husbandly One's real name, the kids' names, etc, just to see what comes up, and to keep track of things.

Today, on a whim, I ran a Google on "Impertinent Daughter," just to see what comes up. And I ran across an entry from an LJ user who is a fellow member of eat_my_bento, and back in March commented about an entry I had made on the comm. You know... I don't know exactly how to...

*pauses*

I love my children very, very much. They sometimes exasperate me, drive me to the edge of my reason, and make me want to either tear my hair out, or find a quiet corner and weep. But they also fill me with joy, make me unbelievably proud, remind me why I'm glad to be a parent, and make my life complete in ways I'm still discovering.

And I hope very much that this comes across in my journal.

When I read this particular entry, I was horrified to discover that this person has deducted, from the fact that I call my daughter the Impertinent Daughter, and Miss Priss, that I don't like my daughter, and said if her mother had called her that, she'd "be walking around with a massive inferiority complex." She also took exception to my calling my son Impossible, and based on an entry I'd made about him having stomach flu, felt I considered him an inconvenience.

Dear gods, y'all... do I really sound like that???

And yes, I do know what "impertinent" means. "Not showing proper respect; rude; exceeding the bounds of propriety." And I do know the alternative meaning, "not pertinent to a particular matter; irrelevant." I am using impertinent in the "not showing proper respect" meaning. Why? Because when my daughter was three, a man who was a complete stranger to her, to myself, and to her father, wanted her to kiss him on the cheek. He was an elderly man, said she reminded him of his granddaughter, and wanted to her to kiss him because she was "such a little darling."

She drew away from him and wrapped herself around my legs, and I knelt down and picked her up, backing away from this perfectly nice man because I didn't like him, either. He said, "Aw, don't you want to give me a little kiss?"

She said, "No. I don't know you, and I don't like you. Go away!"

Of course, he was terribly offended and said, "What an impertinent daughter you have!"

And I said, "Yes, yes, I do, and I'm very proud of her! And you should be ashamed of yourself for trying to force a little girl to kiss a complete stranger!!"

Nope, I have never forced either of my kids to kiss or hug anyone, whether it's a relative, a friend, or a complete stranger. Never wanted to take away their power to say, "NO!" in that sort of situation at all.

But at that time, I was proud to think my child was impertinent. And she has been impertinent... in some very pertinent ways. When a boy tells her he likes her, and she does not like him, she's told him so, and when he persisted, went so far as to threaten to rip his arm off and beat him over the head with it. Yes, very Impertinent, and I'm glad of it. So you could say my calling her the "Impertinent Daughter" is my way of celebrating her inner strength, determination, and personal empowerment. Self-esteem issues? Not at all.

This is not to say she isn't polite, because she is. But, she will very much stand up for herself, and I'm glad.

And as for the Impossible Son, well... he is, sometimes. My son is generous to a fault, affectionate, bright, easy-going... and incredibly stubborn. It is a trait he shares with his mother, meaning me. And there are times when I have to walk out of the room, grab a pillow, and scream into it, then scrounge around deep inside myself for another scrap of patience so I can go back and try to explain/deal with/help my son without losing my mind. I am trying like heck to follow my mother's example, and channel his stubbornness into something positive, rather than something intractible and counterproductive.

And, gods help me, sometimes, I need more patience than one small woman can possibly possess.

But sometimes, he's the Impossible Son, because he manages to do things that should be impossible for him. He's so tiny (people sometimes think he's in first grade) but can lift things that should be far too heavy for him. He can climb things that give us all horrors, finding finger and toe-holds that just... aren't there. I could go on and on, but... y'all already know the stories.

Besides which, in real life, I don't actually call my kids, "Impertinent Daughter" and "Impossible Son." I call them by their names. I call them "Honey," and "Love," and "Bubba," and "Button," and "Honey-Girl," and "Sugar-Bee," and "Peanut," and "Punkin," and all the endearments a Texas and Southern heritage has emplanted in my brain. When I do say to my son, "You, sir, are impossible!" with a hint of exasperation in my voice, I ruffle his hair, and he beams up at me and says, "Yeah, I know, but I come by it honest, right?" and I say, "Right!" Because he knows he has a long line of stubborn and impossible coming from both sides of his family.

And my daughter comes from a long line of strong, "impertinent" women.

That's what was in my mind when I chose those names for my kids to use in this journal. I don't use their real life names in this journal, and there are only a very, very few of you who know those names, for a reason. I protect my children. And that is that.

I love my children very, very much. They are not an inconvenience to me, and I have never let them think so. Neither has my husband. Both of us have had our full share of crap in our childhoods that we made a conscious decision to NOT pass on. I shouldn't let what someone who doesn't know me said bother me so much, but the thought that I have implied, in some way, shape, or form, that I don't like my kids, or ignore them, or find them "inconvenient" somewhere or somehow in this journal makes me... well... furious. And horrified.

I get exasperated with them, but then, I'm human, and I don't know a woman on this planet who doesn't get exasperated with her kids at least two or three times a day. Anyone who doesn't isn't normal.

I'm starting to lose the focus of what I was saying, but jays, this really, really got under my skin.

I think I'll go rip up some weeds, or bake some bread so I can pound the dough and vent my spleen!!!!

I have put the Fear of Auntie into the school district.

This is the Impertinent Daughter's take on my reaction to her telling me about what happened yesterday...



I think I was much calmer than that. Probably more like this...



Anyhow, the district and the junior high have been falling all over themselves trying to do damage repair, and find out who dropped the ball and make sure it never gets dropped again. In fact, the principal at the junior high called me at 7:20 this morning (fortunately, I was up) to reassure me that every single teacher at the school was fully aware of the consequences of swine flu, and that they were to send any student that seemed sniffly, or had a headache or complained of body aches to the nurse RIGHT AWAY, and that they were in no way trying to boost and/or keep attendance up for the TAKS testing.

Hmph.

And I said, "From what I understood yesterday, the student in question had been feeling bad since Tuesday, but came in to take the test, that the teacher knew she was feeling bad, but said she could go to the nurse after taking the test, and that the student then hugged several of the OTHER students on her way out. Because she was leaving, not going to the nurse."

I don't think I've ever really heard someone hyperventilate over the phone before.

Needless to say, she went on to assure me that the custodial staff has been wiping down every surface in the school with disinfectants (I didn't bother to ask if they included library books on that list of surfaces), and will continue to do that several times a day for the duration of this emergency, that they are monitoring this situation with all possible attention, etc, etc, et all...

Well, at least they're finally, finally on the ball. And all U.I.L. events at Texas schools, including sporting events have been canceled until May 11th, several more schools have closed...

I'm just glad that I scared them into doing what they should have been doing from the very beginning. Now, if they can just keep the momentum going!!

I'm off to run errands, and pick up some more hand sanitizer for my kids to keep in their bags.

Jays, this town sometimes just... chaps my hide!!

I HATE OUR SCHOOL DISTRICT!!!!

lddhurham, this is me, finally flipping my nut!

I am FURIOUS!!

Today was the TAKS test at the junior high. I picked up my daughter after school and she tells me... that a girl sat next to her who is possibly a carrier for swine flu, and she only came to school to take her test, and left right after.

*YANKS OUT HAIR*

Oh, you KNOW I tried calling the school office. Funny, but for some odd reason, their switchboard was shut down. Huh. Funny that. Can't imagine why. Maybe it was because 20 or 30 angry parents like ME were calling and demanding to know just what the hell they were THINKING????

So... I called the school district.

They said they had no idea, and I believe them. BUT I'M STILL PISSED OFF!! HUGE break in district protocol... HUGE. Especially with two school districts just down I-35 from us who have shut down their schools... because of swine flu.

Auntie is madder than a hornet. Forget Bear Mode. I'm in Mother Wolf Auntie Mode right now.

This is what happens when the class Tell-It-All tells the Object-Of-Your-Daughter's-Affection... that she likes him.

Well, actually, I think this is what she WISHES she could do to him.

You know, if I was that kid... I think I'd make myself really, really scarce tomorrow.